let me run

going away for a while.

2006-09-25T19:40:00.000+08:00

oh my goodness I haven't cried so much for so long :( Haven't touched One Litre of Tears today, but still, I cried after listening to the OST =.=

anyways. moving to livejournal now (temp or permanantly, not sure yet). I need livejournal now haha given all the erms.. contacts (!) there. so http://papercow.livejournal.com. (don't ask the username =.=) layout in shambles, but no matter. shall not care until the eoys are over, or more like if i survive the eoys. or unless xiyu-san can create out that layout for me in the meantime :)

so until then, sayonara!

online term progress report and MY REVISION

2006-09-06T16:42:00.000+08:00

FREAK. i just realized the online progress report was long out. and i just went to see it -_- over a week after its been out. very alert eh don't you think.

anyway. i almost had a heart attack when i saw so many 3s in the report, thought scale ranged from 1 to 10 initially -_- then i realized the highest was 4. completely scared the daylights out of me? i knew i was bad but didn't know i was THAT bad. gahh. and the online report was utterly useless. i mean. i got lots of threes and a fair number of fours, but like that's gonna tell me where i stand? and the comments the teachers gave. LIKE THEY HELP. most don't even comment cause i don't think they even know me. erms. chan commented that i was an "independent learner with good self-discipline". ah. he hasn't seen me when my supposedly studying hours turned snoozing time. the only close to useful comment was surprisingly mien mien's! (not that it was particularly encouraging through). left me wondering what my parents would say if they saw my report.

dunno why i'm like.. even updating this. its so dead. and besides I'M SUPPOSED TO BE STUDYING NOW. except for the fact that i fell asleep thrice (twice in the morning, once in the afternoon) today already. HAHA "self-discipline" eh! and my relatives are coming over later today. seems like my revisions' gone up in smoke today. w-w-o-w. i am so dead.

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY REVISION. *stressed*

online term progress report and MY REVISION

2006-09-06T16:29:00.008+08:00

online term progress report and MY REVISION

2006-09-06T16:29:00.007+08:00

online term progress report and MY REVISION

2006-09-06T16:29:00.006+08:00

online term progress report and MY REVISION

2006-09-06T16:29:00.005+08:00

online term progress report and MY REVISION

2006-09-06T16:29:00.004+08:00

online term progress report and MY REVISION

2006-09-06T16:29:00.003+08:00

online term progress report and MY REVISION

2006-09-06T16:29:00.002+08:00

online term progress report and MY REVISION

2006-09-06T16:29:00.001+08:00

online term progress report and MY REVISION

2006-09-06T16:29:00.000+08:00

bluees

2006-09-03T14:17:00.000+08:00

argh i realize this blog has been rather stagnant for a RATHER long time. oh wells, had been very busy, what with my japanese prelims and stuff.. and i predict its gonna be even more stagnant for a longer time! (eoys. and jap o levels. GAH.)

im not really in the mood to write anything right now, just haha filling in the space while i wait for the download to finish -_- i'll save updates for later, when im in the mood :)

anw, really into kat tun right now, (or rather, since a long time ago). akame!! <3

kbox!

2006-08-09T14:03:00.000+08:00

happy birthday singapore! she's so old already.. 41 years old. and i thought she was still 36? (how many years ago was that :P?)

anyway, went kbox yesterday!! and damn it was bloody bloody bloody fun. haha in fact this was the best fun i had in a very very long time. wasn't my first time in kbox exactly, but.. yeah it was my first time REALLY singing and joining in haha. the last time i basically sat out. =D we sang for a full 5 hours hahahah and damn im still feeling excited! (: wanna do it again after the eoys! (or jap olevels -_-)

arghh im highh. i wanna SINGGG!!

everything's ok now (:

2006-07-31T20:20:00.000+08:00

sorry, still. but i'd glad its over (:

argh i feel so foolish and childish. easy for me to say now, but when you're in the thick of things, its just not that easy. and i have no idea why this keeps happening. i mean honestly i didn't mean for it to.. you know. but i guess ignoring is my only line of defence after everything else fails? i guess just to shield everyone away from the.. more vulnerable side of me. distance is the only thing i know how to put between us to keep myself "safe" i guess. i'm just not used to having the raw side of me exposed. and no, i don't usually am the first one to say i'm sorry. this, is the first time in fact if i'm not wrong.

i guess i need to change the way i er.. build my line of defences to prevent something similar from occurring later on.

bwarssh thanks clrs, and well to others who noticed something, its ok now (: pls pls forget this, its just some silly stupid idiotic episode k? everything's ok now. (:

now can we put everything behind us? i don't want to think about this anymore, not now not later not every. just forget this stupid thing.

handover this thurs

2006-07-30T13:43:00.000+08:00

PHYSICS TEST. BIO TEST. argh i'm so screwed. esp when im going for the strings concert THE NIGHT BEFORE BIO TEST. and when potato doesn't seem to teach anything. (or at least i never seem to understand or register anything he teaches in class.) arrggghhh why is there always so little time and so many things to do. bwargsshh.

handover's this thurs :( ARGH. why why why why it has to be at this time. when i seem to be growing increasingly fond of nyws. and when everything seems to be slipping through my fingers no matter how much i clutch at them. haha no, i don't mean im sad that we're handing over, just that handing over means that we're coming to an end of something. something NICE. ): (don't say its depressing clrs cause its the truth)

why is it, when everything seems to be falling into place finally, its time to let go.

my swansong

2006-07-23T14:02:00.000+08:00

my swansong, my final performance. gosh im sad.

i love youu nywushu!

glitters yesterday, and we put up a great show. (: no major glitches and everything ran smoothly. damn it was nice. but you know, i'm starting to feel so sad. this is the sec4s final performance in nywushu (unless there are still performances in the future unforeseen, which i highly doubt). i'm gonna miss it here. im not even gone and im already starting to miss nywushu.. its just suddenly so overwhelming.

i didn't think about it so much yesterday, but now that i think about it.. i'm starting to feel very very very sad. i guess i'm still joining wushu in jc, and i guess jy and kt and maybe sy? will be there too.. but. its just not the same. the o'level ppl - ruth, wx, gwen, qian, xy, xiaowen... and jnrs. clrs and sandra and deb and the rest of the ppl!

ahhh i don't wanna think about it now. not now. not just yet. yesterday was my final swansong, but its not time to say goodbye yet. its not time.

><

2006-07-14T21:23:00.000+08:00

havent posted for a long long long time. so sorry! no time now.. later!

france vs brazil

2006-07-02T21:04:00.000+08:00

its very sad, really, to see the defending champions go down just like that. especially to the end of the match, when they were fighting for all they were worth but nothing just seems to come out of it. what with the likes of ronaldinho, ronaldo, robinho and kaka, who was practically invisible throughout the whole match, they couldn't beat zidane and co. the french were better than the defending champions so to speak, they fought harder and seemed more focused. the latter's crosses seemed to go nowhere, and the brazillians just couldn't seem to get the game going for them. perhaps it was their easy qualifying - against countries like japan and ghana, there wasn't much of a challenge to speak of. but the french had been stretched - against spain mostly, thought they got off to a rocky start in the group stages. actually i had thought they wouldn't qualify initially. but now.. les bleus defeated the defending champions. who would have imagined that.

i had started watching the world cup supporting both brazil and france, so this game was a heartbreaker for me. whatever the outcome, one of my favourites will be out, and.. well.. i actually cried when i watched till the end of the match. good thing france is back to their best (or so it seems), but it just seems so wrong for the early exit of the defending champions. i thought they would have at least made it to the finals. if only les blues and the defending champions did meet until the final game. ):

(nygh funfair's over, and i'm really very very very tired. what with all the action yesterday, im feeling so dead right now.)

tribute to kaka, his goal against croatia and the only goal in the game.

jap o'levels

2006-06-21T21:08:00.000+08:00

i have been neglecting this blog.. becuase i've been too busy blogging in japanese! (my msn space) haha i think my jap's improving! or at least it seems to be to me :P i mean come on if i can't blog in japanese now how the hell am i supposed to take my o'levels sometime in november? actually not sometime. exactly is 3rd november 2006 (i remember because it killed my silicon valley trip. GAH.) but i'm actually.. well terrified of my jap o'levels. i have no idea how i'll fair, cause i have no idea how i stand now. #$*&@!#$*(&!_@ i hate not knowing my standard. actually i hate not knowing anything. (that doesn't make sense really. actually im not making any sense at all.) you know, im starting to feel nervous about my o'levels. even though im taking only 2 subjects -_- kill me.

pains and aches and sores from wushu camp

2006-06-17T20:18:00.000+08:00

ahh so ends wushu june camp 06! i loved the water games at the end (: pt was.. actually wasn't as bad as i had thought initially, but it was still BAD. like, i can't actually stand up in one smooth motion now. my movements now actually come in pieces. ie. i move like a robot. and a groaning one at that. =S

my ankle has turned purple and brown, and its swelling to the size of an orange. the bruise on the left side of my left knee has turned brown but at least its not growing in size anymore.. muscle cramps.. erms.. i guess the only muscles that are not aching now are my neck and facial muscles. EVERYwhere else is sore. (yes even my fingers thanks to the jiu jie bian).

to sum it up: OUCH.

world cup fever-initiated exhaustion

2006-06-14T23:43:00.000+08:00

its barely halfway through the group stages of the world cup, and i'm already dog tired. and i haven't even been watching every game.. arrgghh i can barely keep my eyes open now =S and my pile of homework.. let's just say its starting to rot.

think i shall forget about tonight's game (and the rest of my homework). ahh the hell with it. brazil and france! :)

kunming - there and back

2006-06-06T22:33:00.000+08:00

reality check. 6 days out of Singapore and back.

where: kunming, china
when: 1-6 june
season: summer
weather: HOT

Day 1

the flight - woke up at 0400, went to the airport for a 0835 flight, reached kunming at exactly 1205. surprisingly, i didn't vomit! (though i felt very nauseous when i first boarded and later alighted from the plane)

the hotel - reached the hotel (the new era hotel), realized it was under upgrading, ate my first meal at the hotel's restaurant. (guo4 qiao2 mi3 xian4. yum!)
went to ming2 zu3 cun1 - pretty nice, many ancient (maybe not so ancient actually) homes of the various minority races living in yunnan. i love looking at people's living quarters (:

then - wandered around the hotel's vicinity, realized it was just beside kunming's orchard road. wonderful.

Day 2

woke up - 0700. surprisingly not tired at all

went to - shi2 ling3. if translated to english, means virtually: stone forest. very very very nice :) there's a lot to photograph, many different angles and views to explore, though the number of people there took a huge part of the fun out of it. we spent an hour or so lost in the forest, clambering up and down rocks. it's very good exercise. believe me, it seems small but it's actually very easy to lose your way in there. especially when the directions given seem to contradict one another. we wandered past the same place.. 3 times. argh.

then we went to this park called shi4 bo2 yuan2. sort of like the singapore expo, but very much larger. it even has this huge cliff in its vicinity with the name of the park carved on it. this park houses exhibits mainly on the different parts of china, their various cultures, traditions, geography etc etc, as well as exhibits on other countries (though the latter couldn't really be called an exhibit. just a piece of land with a building that symbolizes that country on it. no information or anything. ><)

dinner - found this very very cheap hong kong restaurant on the topmost floor of some shopping center opposite the hotel. did i mention the food was very delicious?

Day 3

went to - jiu3 xiang1. it's basically this huge cave (at least 10 km long), or rather a series of caves joined together that runs down the slope of a mountain, with a huge river flowing through it, complete with waterfalls, rapids and streams. another photographic haven, just that i wasn't able to photograph the interior of the caves because my camera couldn't catch the lighting well enough :(

we got a hell lot of exercise today again, cause though theoratically we were walking in the cave, we were actually climbing up and down along the contours of the mountain. while at the same time trying to dodge the stalactites and stalagmites and swallows that make their nests in the roofs of the caves. not to mention the steps were very steep and it was damn dark. and cold. and moist. and slippery. but the view was absolutely breathtaking :)

then, jing1 dian4. or golden palace. actually its more of a historical building built entirely of copper. (no wood no iron no other materials for nails etc.) pretty amazing actully, just imagine how hot it is under the sun :

Day 4

went to - NOWHERE

why? food poisoning, fever, flu and goodness knows what else. actually, it was the previous night when i suddenly bolted from the bed and fled to the washroom and threw up my dinner and whatever's remaining of my lunch (if there was anything remaining, that is) into the sink. wasn't a pretty sight i tell you. actually i managed to clog up the sink, but i shan't elaborate. not a er.. very nice situation to envision.

i though i'd be alright the next day, but i woke up burning, weak and feverish. during breakfast, i spent 45 minutes chewing on some buttered toast that seemed to taste like rubber. then returned to the hotel room and slept. woke up in the afternoon, ate a fifth of a bowl of very watery porridge, then returned to the huge comfy green sofa in the corner of the room with a book in one hand and the remote control in the other, and spent my afternoon curled up in that sofa padded in layers of blankets and coats. sounds nice yeah? but certainly doesn't feel good then.

so i stayed an ostrich for an afternoon, felt slighly better and very guilty for keeping my mother in with me (taking care of me), so went out and shopped a little. but still felt queasy, so retired early that night. a wasted day. garrhh.

Day 5

went to - xi1 shan1 and dian1 ci1. (southern mountain and.. ugh dunno how to translate the second one). xi shan was rather pretty, and required large amounts of climbing as well. my legs got so soft when we finally conquered HALF (half, mind you, not even the whole mountain) the mountain, its not much better than wushu training. sweat sweat sweat. exercise exercise exercise. luckily we took a cable car up the first half of the mountain. if not i think i'll just collapse there.

dian ci was.. very polluted. its nice from afar, but when you actually look closely, you can see oil spills and sewage on its surface. not very.. nice. quite disgusting actually :S

then we went to da4 guan1 gong1 yuan2. just a park with the longest pair of dui4 lian2 in the world. (180 words in all) pretty, but nothing much special. another.. photographic haven (:

Day 6

dad fell sick, so he stayed back and me and mom went on a last minute shopping spree. bought a couple of books, clothes, stuff for friends etc etc etc (in the space of 2 and a half hours - quite an accomplishment =D) thing is, i was quite surprised when i couldn't find most of the cds i wanted there in kunming. i could find in singapore, though the prices were sky-high, so i had hoped to er.. reduce costs there, but it turned out they were virtually non-existant there. either they had been all sold or.. well it can't be they were not sold at all cause i read on the net that they had caused quite a stir in china. so. ee.

checked out of the hotel at 1130, ate lunch at 1215, did another last minute shopping spree in 15 minutes, then went to the airport, where i spent 3 very fruitless hours at the airport doing virtually nothing. or rather trying to beat my highscore in the v-rally racing game in my handphone.

finally, the plane departed for singapore at 1645 and touched down at 2015, and so i'm here now, very tired but happy to be home :)

Kunming is a photography paradise :) this trip was great, only setback was that it was too hot - i got sunburnt. and i sweated and sweated and sweated. and lots of insects (for someone who's mortally afraid of insects..) but i lost 2 kg during this trip (pretty good for someone who ate oily food morning, afternoon and night), perhaps due to the large doses of exercise we were subjected to when visiting the attractions. :) wonderful.

6 days detached from my life here, and now i'm back. home sweet home, but with that, i crash, bang, slam back to reality. ouch.

sabbatical week

2006-05-25T15:22:00.000+08:00

long no time no see :) why? busy busy busy busy. actually, its the sabbaticals week now, and.. haha honestly speaking its fun :) i'm taking learning chinese culture through movies for the first half of the day, and gastronomy and epidermology for the second half. :)

chinese culture through movies:
day 1: huo shao yuan ming yuan (ok larh basically very informative and.. er.. fairly interesting)
day 2: song jia wang chao (man i love this movie ><. VERY interesting, though it doesn't sound so.)
day 3: huang fei hong - shi wang zheng ba (need i say more?)
day 4: qui tian de tong hua (UNFORTUNATELY, its the chinese version. zhou ren fa and some woman ive never heard before. eh. quite boring actually.)
day 5: yi ge ye bu neng shao (its actually tomorrow, but ive watched it before and its good :) really.)

gastronomy and epidermology:
day 1: japanese food - tempura, teriyaki chicken, green tea icecream!
day 2: french food - (honestly i can't remember any of the names) main course of salmon, dory and lots of vegetable and wine; cream mushroom soup; desert of some kind of cream with crepe (its hot) served with icecream (YUM YUM!)
day 3: thai food - pineapple rice, thai fish cake and goreng pesang
day 4: italian food - sphagetti and tiramisu!
day 5: final presentation - WHICH I'LL BE MISSING TOMORROW. gah.

im totally enjoying myself. i mean, how not too? :P wheeee~

carelessness

2006-05-19T17:58:00.000+08:00

so much has happened, and honestly speaking, im overwhelmed. perhaps too much. im feeling rather strained now, and really, i need a break. away from everything and everyone. so i can't wait for the hols now, a badly needed and much too late break.

i'm feeling so screwed now, everything seems to be just in this one big mess and no matter how much i try to sort it out, it just keeps getting more and more tangled. i'm just sinking deeper and deeper. don't know how i ended up in this sorry state too.

got my CA marks, and.. though its honestly not that bad, to me its absolutely horrendous. not because of the marks i scored, because i believe (if my memory doesn't fail me) that this score was my highest ever since i entered sec school (though it's not that high really). why i think its horrendous, is because of what i could have gotten, but didn't. yeah i know it sounds pretty much like what a whiny-doesn't-appreciate-her-luck person would scream about, but truly speaking i'm feeling pretty devastated over that right now. because its not "just a few marks" but in fact, its a pretty impressive number.

how many times have i said "what if" to myself. and how many times have i vowed to change. and how am i now? still the same old me.

sometimes i understand why people feel like cutting themselves up into pieces.

it all sums up to one word: carelessness. and i shan't elaborate, cause i believe tears will start showing themselves again if i think about it. maybe not "it", but "itS". gah.

Slow Dance

2006-05-04T20:15:00.000+08:00

This poem was sent to me through email, and just thought it was rather nice. Just stops you down and think, lets you.. well, ponder about some things. It's written by a terminally ill girl in a New York hospital. Surprisingly insightful.

Slow Dance

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,"Hi"
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

eye infection

2006-04-26T20:55:00.000+08:00

i have an eye infection, and my whole left eye is itching like crazy. argh don't scratch don't scratch don't scratch. after i applied the ointment (yes in my eye), all i can see now with my left eye is one big blurry mass (so im now typing with one eye closed ><)

sheesh all i can think about now is how to stop the itching in my eye. don't scratch don't scratch don't scratch.

end of interschool wushu competition 2006

2006-04-24T19:45:00.000+08:00

i realize its been a very very long time since i've last updated my blog, and considering the events that have taken place in the past week, definitely too long a time. but now that the competition is over, i guess i can write about it without feeling the pangs of pain that have plagued me for every single night since last tues. (for very obvious reasons why)

today was the last day of the comp, and nanyang B div girls got an overall fourth! and our jitidao got third! (though i think we really should have gotten second ><) but putting that behind, it was a great day. nanyang wushu!! *sniff* last year taking part in the interschool wushu comp as a nanyang wushu-er. only regret being my jing sai jian. damn myself. since last tues i have replayed the taolu again and again in my mind for countless of times, and i really feel like kicking myself. i should really have gotten a second, but due to.. CIRCUMSTANCES (over which i really feel like killing myself), i ended up with a... i actually dreamt about that for three nights in row in the past week. i have never felt more gekked about any event as yet. this year was my only one good chance. and i screwed it. argh at least there was no one to blame but me. *cries*

but now everything's over :) satisfied? hardly. there's still a lot more that had room for improvement, in all areas. but its over, and im glad with whatever we had managed to achieve. :) go nanyang wushu! <33333333333

i love you nywushu!

nywushu jiayou!!

2006-04-16T20:39:00.000+08:00

this is it. jiayou nywushu! fearless! :)

fever.. again.

2006-04-13T21:44:00.000+08:00

i have a fever again. GAH.

i was fine during wushu, just a little tired, quite tired during the PTM, cold during dinner, shivering when i got home, and threw up when i was bathing. so i decided to take my temperature after my bathe, and to my horror a horrific 38.2 degrees showed up on the thermometer. this is the second time this month i have a fever, fourth time this year, which happens to be twice the number of time i fell sick with fever last year. so i predict. its gonna be a tough year ahead. AND comp is just next week! wahaha lo and behold.

record no mo bruises.. and dae jung geum!!

2006-04-11T20:25:00.000+08:00

i bought the dae jung geum vcd!!! eeaahhwooheeeehhaawwooowaahhh ^^. *blissful* (i shall not elaborate more for once i start i don't think i can stop.)

anyway, ive obtained a record number of injuries (albiet minor) in the past week. four bruises on my left knee, two on my right, another two bruises on my left elbow, one on my shoulder and one horribly big and painful one that starts throbbing everytime i walk or bend down on my hip. and! one long cut on my elbow and another small one on my knuckle. all in the name of our jitidao. ahh what we do for our dear nywushu. and of course, on my part, the mindless and blind waving of the dao has indeed contributed greatly to my wonderful record of injuries. and why the blind waving? in a futile attempt to get used to the oh-so-unfamilar feeling of holding a dao instead of a jian.. *puackk*

fearless, and i cried =|

2006-04-02T15:28:00.000+08:00

i realize i cry easily when watching movies or reading books, cause i used up half a packet of tissue today after watching a movie that i don't think was supposed to be a tear-jerker at all. let's just say its supposed to inspire people. and well, i cried. ah.

what movie? fearless. (pls don't laugh at me.)

mood swings

2006-03-29T20:23:00.000+08:00

you know, i have a sudden urge to box someone. argsshh. pissed but dunno why? mood swings you see.

fever!

2006-03-26T14:38:00.000+08:00

ee went to duael with this pounding headache and 38.4 degrees fever (which later shot up to 38.9 :S) yesterday. but it was nice :D especially the last two plays, honestly hilarious. whee thanks everyone for the hugs and "are you okay"s yesterday :)

anyway, when i was on my way home on the bus yesterday after duael, the bus being blissfully quiet. i had this feeling of being quite detached from my actually physical being (woah i sound chim XD), with everything floating around me in no particular order. think i was quite delirious by that time. which explains (at least partially) why when i got off the bus, my knees just buckled under me and i ended up kneeling by the sidewalk after the bus left. a horribly sorry sight. glad no one else was there at the bus stop.

honestly didn't know how i got past ceshi with that fever, (though i didn't look as if i was sick). and anyway, i screwed up the ceshi, having stumbled TWICE. horrible. horrible horrible horrible. not to mention my jitidao was totally dead. like i forgot every single movement i was supposed to do, got into the wrong positions, was always half a beat behind everyone. eekss sry guys. it'd better improve for the comp or ill just retire myself as a reserve. i think that a better idea anyway :).

school's starting

2006-03-19T23:01:00.000+08:00

i am SAD. cause tomorrow school's starting again. start of term 2. eeks.

mosquitoes arghh

2006-03-15T21:03:00.000+08:00

i think my house is turning into a forest, minus the plants. the mosquitoes. argh. the mosquitoes. horrible mosquitoes. *swat* i think i got bitten at least six times in a period of 5 minutes, which is.. *swat*

and it is definitely not the drain in my house that is clogged up. cause my mum was sort of gun-spraying it with this huge jet of water yesterday. perhaps my neighbour-who-is-not-around-and-therefore-perhaps-has-a-clogged-drain-though-she-doesn't-knows-it? *swat*

how wonderful. yet another causalty under my ruthless fingers. rest in peace my dear six-legged friend.

wushu wushu wushu i'm irritated by x**

2006-03-14T20:04:00.000+08:00

i am damn irritated with x*e. its amazing actually, to what lengths he will go just to avoid commenting on my taolu. everytime its my turn to do my taolu, he will miraculously find some corner to hide to,and emerge from his temporary hibernation after i step down from the chang di, or his fingernails will sprout some amazingly interesting organism, at which he will keep looking for the next one and a half minute (which is how long my taolu is), or some long lost friend will sms him and keep him raptly occupied by his handphone just long enough for my taolu to be over.

sometimes i really wonder what i did to piss him off so bloody much that he keeps finding some bizarre ways to avoid looking at my taolu and commenting on it. i mean what is the bloody use of going to training if he's not going to tell me what is wrong with my movements or what can i do to improve on them? might as well stay at home and do my taolu at home if that's the case. that's why i only look forward to saturday trainings. at least zhou lao shi is nice enough to tell me how to improve. i mean, she's damn nice. and she doesn't lose her temper even when i fail to do some action properly. i wish she's the one teaching us every training instead of xu*.

which will not happen.

but anyway, on a brighter note, traning at hcjc was damn fun. got that qi fen, and the atmosphere was.. good :) i liked it. at least i felt motivated to train when i saw those 2 guys doing the same taolu as me. and they have the di tan! anyways i'm really looking forward to train in hcjc wushu next year, the only downside is, no zhou lao shi. :( that i really don't like.

GAH. there's training this thursday, and I DON'T WANT TO GO. the morning part i don't mind :) but the afternoon part.. might as well go home to practise. AND i'll be missing saturday's training because i have flag day, and i really don't want to miss saturday trainings! eeks why can't flag day be on a thursday or a tuesday instead? and oh ill be missing that psycho thing hou wants me to go. wonder what that is about. sounds interesting. hmmm..

lifeskills camp '06

2006-03-10T20:51:00.000+08:00

whee i like our class dance! it was WILD.. and it rocked :)

anyway, graces is over, so.. arrrrhhh its like this one whole dream so far away from the me right now. now that i think about it, it was as if it didn't happen at all, especially the gala night. i wasn't as high as i thought it would be.. i guess that heavy feeling in me before the camp hasn't really all disappeared yet :P but it was still great anyway :) and i mean it :)

damn i really liked the gala night (like duh it was supposed to be the climax of the whole thing) i didn't really take that many photos as i liked (or at least on my camera), and i didn't really manage to find everyone i wanted to take photos with :( and i missed the beijing photo!!! aaahhh i am extremely GEKKED over that. sheesh. but anyway! the photos i took were well its worth. lotsa crazy photos, lotsa crazy expressions and poses.. haha it was one wild night! but i wish they had let us party right into the night. like we were stopped at 11? and we just started dancinggggggg aaahhhh :( i really really really liked the dancing part.. just free disco-style dancing. i liked liked liked liked it. and just when we got started after warming up, they stopped the music. -_-.

then we had the class dance this morning, and we got second! our tribal dance was WILD, with hair flying about and our sticks banging around.. and my solo part turned out to be wushu-y anyway even though i didn't mean it to be -_-. i wasn't trying to do gun! i don't even learn gun! but that's not the point. point was, we rocked. :) the whole class got the whole thing right for the first time. everytime before there definitely would be this whole load of mistakes, but once we had to do it, we did it right. WE ROCKED 4/1!!!

damn i'm still feeling the after effects of the camp. i'm not high, just.. eee missing some parts of the camp very very much. this is going to bring back so much memories. and its over. sighh.

no regrets.

bloody day

2006-03-05T00:09:00.000+08:00

i am TIRED.

so i went to school this morning at 8 to do our class tribal dance, where i spent the half of the morning stamping my feet and flinging around my head, and the other half of the morning on my knees banging sticks on the floor. as easy as it sounds, it can be actually quite tiring. after that, wushu until three thirty. i think it is needless for me to say anything on that issue. use your imagination.

then i went shopping for my shoes from prom, and er... at my mother's suggestion, practised wearning my heels for fear i embarrass myself on prom night. so i trampled around the whole of jurong point for 4 straight hours, followed by an hour and a half at the jurong regional library, not to mention going up and down the stairs at the mrt station and bus interchanges, the long long stretch of road back home.. in my three inch heels. now my feet feels totally numb. yes still. even after reaching home at 10.30. eeks.

and ive been seeing a lot of blood today. why? in the morning during our dance practice, meijiao was sort of swinging around my jian, and.. let's just say she happened to slice my thumb with one of her swings, so there was this jagged cut that seemed to keep oozing blood at periodic intervals. like durnig wushu training when the initial blood flow had stopped, after i did a wan hua it started gushing again. not a very pretty sight actually. actually it gushed twice during wushu training, but i shall not elaborate on the other time :)

and so my encounter for the second time of the day happened rather late at night.. say around 11? when i was opening the can of longan (don't ask me why), this humongous beetle zoomed above my head and started bouncing about violently around in the kitchen. so naturally for someone who has a mortal fear of insects, started to open the can in a very very fast way. and somehow in that process cut my index finger. actually there was no pain at that time. and i didn't realize it until i was washing my hands later when i realized the water going down the drain was red. so i started searching, then realized my finger was sprouting a rather substantial volume of blood. the cut isn't that huge really, just a small but deep deep deep cut. and this cut seems even more prone to bleeding than the last one. it seems, every other time i wash my hands.

the rest is history.

i think i just drowned yet another poor plaster. i shall go get another.

my wrist hurtssss

2006-03-02T17:55:00.000+08:00

i have so injured my wrist. I was on the bus home today when there was this big guy (and i mean big) in front of me who slammed right into me when the bus braked. Naturally, I clutched blindly for any possible holdings within my vicinity, but didn't quite aim properly in the midst of all the confusion, and thus sort of crashed into one of the barriers. then i heard this sickening crack, and ooooh it was painful.

i was carrying my wrist so tenderly when i got home that my mom thought i broke it, but yeah well i appeased her by showing her i could still move it. but aaaahhhh ooohh eeeee it hurts.

so i'm icing it now. its turned... swollen and red and painful. i wonder how it'll hurt when i'm forced to do wushu on saturday. hmmm...

(ps. actually i banged that wrist on exactly the same spot earlier today, when jieying sort of pushed me into the wall -_-... so i guess the big guy slam was just aggravating the situation. ahh but at least he was the trigger.)

when your best is not enough

2006-02-27T20:36:00.000+08:00

sometimes, even your best is not enough. even when you give your all, when you put in your heart and soul, it just comes short. so close, but still short. and sometimes, that can hurt. it hurts, because whatever you do doesn't seem to be having much of an effect, hurts when all you hard work comes down to nothing. and the worse thing is, no one cares. no one seems to notice, and even if they do, seem to turn a deaf ear on you, brush you off so casually. and that's when you wonder why you even try, when it all comes down to tears and a bunch of hurt feelings.

perhaps, it would be better of i didn't try at all. maybe if i didn't start, nothing would follow. perhaps then, things would be better.

i don't even know now if this is too much to ask, but all i want is for a little more recognition, a little indication that people still know i'm human after all, despite whatever the facade i put up. perhaps it never occurred that its just a protective shield to protect myself? and perhaps.. everyone, no matter how tough they seem, needs a little kindness every now and then.

new blog layout!

2006-02-26T19:58:00.000+08:00

ok so all's left is the jap test tomorrow :) then i'll be free! at least temporarily.. and i'm feeling quite happy now.. dunno for what reason exactly but.. at least its a good change from the past few weeks! :)

wahaha ok so here's the new layout... personally.. arr how to say? i didn't exactly envision it to be this way, but this way's good too :) ok so maybe i'm not making a lot of sense, but i like it the way it is!

and anyway, so more on what ive been up to? basically, ive been undergoing quite a craze for japan stuff.. (tsubasa anime and manga, saiyuki reload...), and ive been speaking japanese everyday (shi hui during class and xiyu during recess and assembly etc etc etc), so hopefully my jap will improve, especially for tomorrow's test!

(ps. ok so i'm back with my machi didi craze.. ahh~~ cause i saw him on tv the other day and he was so absolutely...!!! *smitten*)

updates

2006-02-22T20:58:00.000+08:00

damn.. its been so bloody busy lately im starting to feel so worn out. and this is term 1. ahh not good. and now with ccas going at.. 4 times a week, i just feel like dying. i mean, who has cca like on tuesday, thursday, fridays and saturdays? which means i'll be exercising virtually everyday of the week: monday - PE, tuesday - cca, wednesday - physical training, thursday - cca, friday - cca, saturday - cca. i can really just drop dead man. AND which means i have no weekdays on which i can go home early, cause on the days i don't have cca i'll have my third language, and the days without third language, cca.

what a horrible monotonous irritating life.

and not that i want it.. (duh) ive been feeling rather... down of late. and so. sorry again to all who have er.. been.. the object of my frustrations nowadays, especially my table mates :) i know i've been looking much like a sour plum these few days, (or weeks actually), especially during math and physics and chinese and language arts class and chemistry, (which is practically everything save for biology) but.. well i'm trying :)

i realized that most of my entries lately have been sounding quite down... so i shall try post a more cheerful entry the next time :) until then, hope i can kill that irritating depression bug that's feasting on me inside out now. *squash*

haven't memorized my total defence day poem!

2006-02-16T23:21:00.000+08:00

shit shit shit tomorrow is the total defence day presentation and i HAVEN'T MEMORIZED MY POEM yet. ahh i am so going to screw up in front of the whole school. ><. this is not good.

depressed but dunno why?

2006-02-15T20:32:00.000+08:00

i have been feeling strangely detached from everything around me these few days. its like im just floating through school, and anyway i don't think ive been making much contact with people too. im turning into a hermit -_-. anyways. i just realized that after some incident today, and... well just say i'm not too pleased? garsh even my thoughts are coming out garbled today, i'm just cant think straight... arghh.

hope i can get back into things soon.. this feeling isn't really very good. damn i don't even know what i'm really trying to say, just perhaps that i'm feeling quite depressed now. for what reason i don't know. but still. depressed.

Valentine's Day

2006-02-14T20:43:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! =D whee thanks all who gave presents and those who wished me happy valentine's day haha :)

its a RELIEF that all tests are over :)) though there's chinese next week and jap the week after the next but at least there's no need to study for chinese! ha =D and jap.. well -_- i can worry about that later :) ok but poor ruth was bawling over her chinese lit tomorrow.. haha good luck ruth :)

Ruth got A1 for her chinese o'levels!

2006-02-11T19:44:00.000+08:00

ok i said i'd put it on my msn nick that ruth got an A1 for her o'level chinese, but since i didn't i shall post it here now :)

RUTH GOT AN A1 FOR HER O'LEVEL CHINESE!!

and ruth's very happy over that A1 cause she was bouncing uncontrollably around in the gym yesterday, flopping down on the huge cushion then getting up and continued bouncing. -_-

glum day

2006-02-09T17:28:00.000+08:00

ok its been a hell of a week. not THAT stressful, but still. three tests, and i think all were rather dismal. argh.

urms ok so i've been in a rather glum mood today.. sorry people if i seemed very irritated. i dunno why either.. just everything piling and piling up and giving me this very very bad feeling.

argh.

im losing my mindddddddd lalalala

2006-02-02T22:54:00.000+08:00

ohmygoshimlosingmymind, help, someone?

im currently doing the tasks as follows..
chemistry SIA
chemistry worksheet
commonwealth essay
singlish essay
bio worksheet
AT THE SAME TIME. not to mention there is class breakfast tomorrow morning and WE HAVE NO CUTLERY! wow.

shitimlosingmymindlalalalahelpsomeonesomeonehelphelphelp

happy cny! :)

2006-01-29T00:08:00.000+08:00

happy cny everyone! :)

Memiors of a Geisha

2006-01-27T19:39:00.000+08:00

i watched Memiors of a Geisha today. it was one of the best movies i had ever seen, and it kept captivated throughout the whole movie. what i liked a lot about it was that i kept very true to the book. rob marshall did not change much of what was orignially written in the book, and i glad. i wouldnt have enjoyed it half as much if it had differed much from the novel. i'm not going to write about how nice the movie is, cause the movie will speak for itself. :) but honestly. its a wonderful work of art - the acting (especially the young chiyo), the movie settings, the conversation, and the way the movie simply tugs at your heartstrings.

:) im in love with it :)

*i just wish people wouldn't bring their children into the cinema especially with such a film if they can't control them. it totally ruins the atmosphere and is downright irritating and rude. i would have enjoyed the movie even more if not for this kind of incident.

that )@#(&@(*#! sec one girl on the bus today

2006-01-26T20:46:00.000+08:00

that sec one girl. gosh.

the bus i boarded today after CNY celebrations was terribly crowded, and i was like squashed up to the door where there was one sec one who was standing persistently at the back exit of the door simply REFUSING to move no matter how crowded the bus was, leaving me in a position where i was wedged between someone's back and two chinese high guys. so i sorta squeezed in further, but well.. -_- you know how a crowed bus can get. but at least i escaped those two guys.

BUT. that sec one girl. gosh. when the bus started to move, she started CLINGING to the bar of the bus with BOTH hands. and that did not stop her from swaying with the motion of the bus. and everytime the bus stoppped, she would sort of swivel around the pole to the other side, with her hair brushing the faces of everyone in a radius of about 30 cm around her. then she would correct herself, smiling all the time to herself, then resume her swaying immediately once the bus started moving. so imagine, a totally packed bus where you were sardined between people *ahem*, and there was this tall and skinny girl with very sharp elbows pole-dancing by your side while you're trying your very best to balance without having any sort of handhold whatsoever because the girl beside you was taking up all the space around the pole with her poledancing. gosh i felt like slapping her. especially everytime when she stepped on my toes when returning to her position after ending up on the other side of the pole everytime the bus braked.

she had better not be on board the same bus as me next time, or else i might just slap her silly little giggling face. *pissed*

ear infection

2006-01-22T20:50:00.000+08:00

no no no no no no i have yet another ear infection. two ear infections in the period of a month. :( not very nice. i don't even listen to music using earplugs.. (not that it has anything to do with it, but.) why ear infection?? *sigh*

i predict im going to sound like a frog tomorrow, like the big bullfrog in my neighbour's pond. but my sore throat is very much better thank you :)

sore throat.. argh

2006-01-21T14:24:00.000+08:00

argh. my throat is excruciatingly painful. and thus i consumed two packets of strepsils since this morning (a rather extraordinary feat considering that i woke up at 10.30 :P), more chuan bei pi pa gao than im supposed to take, and 2 bottles (big ones) of water. but all of that didn't seem to have the slightest effect.. so (*@#&^)(@*#!@ and on top of that i hardly ate any breakfast and lunch cause im too bloated from the water -_-.

*ps. i really love that spirit soundtrack!! :) thx zeee!

dance night!! and a very bad sore throat

2006-01-20T23:42:00.000+08:00

so i woke up this morning to a very bad sore throat. everytime i tried to speak my throat felt like it was going to tear or something. so i spent the whole morning (or actually most of the lesson times) in complete silence, only saying "xing li" when mr khoo came in, and when answering his question. -_-. and the only form of communication was my pen and paper! and lots of sign language and exaggerated mouth shapes. but.. it didn't last cause i couldn't stand not saying anything at all, so i ended up screaming in the end anyway ^^ and so now im in AGONY.

ANYWAY. DANCE NIGHT. it rocked! the dances were great, honestly. then the lighting was damn cool too.. but the ava was a bit.. as in especially in the instances when yeo phih tai's mike had no sound?! and when they forgot to dim the light for one ending of a dance. BUT it still rocked man!! i liked that ending dance and the one with the hat and stick.. and a couple of other dances too i can't really remember. hear that shuai ge?!! and u don't look fat lah! XD

and after dance night, we (jieying, biqi, liwen, adeline, yibing and i) went kap. the six of us were liek squashed around three minature tables.. with nothing on the table but DRINKS. two orange juices, three lemon lime and one milo. a funny combination, but :) and this was the latest night i stayed out with my classmates! we went home like around 10.35 (yeah that's quite late for me), then i reached home totally drained.

but today was totally GREAT. great great great! (oh yeah i forgot to mention the pizzas we ordered after school (: not very nice.. but still :) ) just hope that i still can speak tomorrow. i won't be surprised if i started coughing blood really -_-

chan is getting irrational

2006-01-19T20:03:00.000+08:00

chan is getting very irritating. during today's class meeting when we were discussing the CNY decorations, and i was taking minutes, chan went like "HERH!" then took my minutes then stuffed it under the table -_-. like im supposed to take minutes? gosh.

then physics lab today, i was just turning to LOOK at ziyi, then chan went something like "she's behind enough already DON'T ask her question." and i was just looking at her? oh man i didn't even open my mouth, for god's sake.

ahh im IRRITATED.

my birthday!

2006-01-16T20:19:00.000+08:00

whee HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me! (: feels wierd to be sixteen! like .. (: *grins*

oh and thanks to all out there for your birthday presents and wishes! (: appreciate it a lot. (: THANKS PPL!

*ps oh to someone (*) who is sharing the same birthday as me, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you as well!! sorry we didn't go out this year as planned, something just cropped up :( anyway we'll go out next year i promise! :)

A Kung Fu Tale - the Legend of Wong Fei Hung

2006-01-14T23:32:00.000+08:00

WANG SHUAI WANG SHUAI WANG SHUAI!!

Whee just came back from the musical "A Kung Fu Tale - the Legend of Wong Fei Hung", directed by Robin Lee, starring SHAOLIN MONKS!! *gasps*

Honestly, the storyline sucks.. totally. i mean.. it doesn't really say much about Huang Fei Hong's life, and some of the scenes from the musical were... unneccessary. I mean, true they stood for some part of another of Huang Fei Hong's life, but hey, some of them weren't that important so much so to dedicate a whole scene of the musical to it -_-. perfect example: the garden scene when huang fei hong and shi san yi were.. singing. ah. that was totally extra.

BUT. the wushu rocked! as in what do you expect? they're shaolin monks! i mean but ok.. this is like.. my fifth time seeing a shaolin performance.. and last year when i went to shaolin si, now THAT performance was great. but today was damn good too.. especially the jiu jie bian and bian. pity they didn't do ying quan... i love ying quan! <3

and you know what? IM IN LOVE WITH WANG SHUAI!! (yes he's younger but me but wth) he's like... so bloody *omgwth* aaahhh~~. i know most people in the audience liked the 6-year-old liu jun more.. but I LIKE WANG SHUAI. he's the second youngest there and goshh.. his wushu is likeee )$&@*#&!@)(#.

i know im repeating myself.. but aaahhh... WANG SHUAI~~ <33333333

cramps and wushu DON'T come together

2006-01-14T16:44:00.000+08:00

i hate doing wushu with cramps. its absolutely torture. luckily we didn't do ji ben gong today, or i could have just died. but it was bad enough having to do the jump-in-the-air-twirl-around-and-land-in-a-pan-zuo action time and again. eekss.

sixteen!

2006-01-13T21:46:00.000+08:00

I WILL BE SIXTEEN SOON. I WILL BE SIXTEEN SOON.

*haa~ can't wait!*

coldd

2006-01-12T23:14:00.000+08:00

the thought that went through my mind the most frequently today was "I'M COLD".

brrr... but hope the rain doesn't stop :)

the rain is making me think.

2006-01-11T22:05:00.000+08:00

you know, its raining. again. (: i like it. but its making me think lots of thoughts. and i don't know exactly why.

i miss you ):

keep raining please, i want to get my thoughts all sorted out :)

ANTS!

2006-01-10T14:44:00.000+08:00

i spent the whole morning and a good part of the afternoon exterminating ants. yes ANTS. ants that, due to the incessant rain, seem to have moved from my garden into my house, particularly my dressing table where their steath and cunning have enabled them to consume my whole box of newly bought tic tacs (just the day before) without me noticing anything until this morning.

so to my utmost horror this morning, i woke up to find my supply of glucose in my room has inadvertently been reduced to a mass of swarming ants that have incidently erased any trace of my sweets in the past few days.

so i started swashing them with a tissue paper, which, to my disgust, was not much of a protection against these tiny monsters who seem to stay alive even after i squashed them, many of which CRAWLED UP MY ARM *eeks* -_- but after like.. 4 attempts (?) i managed to eliminate all traces of ants then! (:

BUT.

10 minutes later, i returned.. aaannndddd.... ANTS AGAIN! and in larger numbers than before! so what did i do? i drenched this tissue paper with water then started gardening the ants, drowning them (yes on my dressing table) then wiping them up. but later i realized how much trees i was wasting, so i decided to use a cloth instead. and so incidently i caught sight of where the ants were streaming in from, so i got this very wet tissue and stuck it into the crack (: ingenius eh? after 10 minutes, i removed the paper.. and well.. let's just say there were at least 20 dead ants on it (: after that, that crack didnt seem to be a problem anymore (:

i know i should probably end the story here, but that's not all.. unfortunately. after feeling sufficiently accomplished about myself, i was going to find a jacket (cause it was so bloody cold) when i opened and my wardrobe, and guess what? ants! again! -_- crawling into the room from yet ANOTHER CRACK. and this time the numbers were so horrifying i ran from the room and didn't return until i found the insecticide downstairs.

and so the last phase of my massacre of the ants that invaded my room. i was spraying the whole wardrobe (not where the clothes were), then trying to prevent the ants from falling onto the floor where i would have a very hard time trying to sweep them up. (i shan't go into the details) anyway, after this three-part process that involved dry swiping, wet swiping/drowning and insecticide spraying, i seemed to have eliminated all ants from my room. FINALLLY.

i hope.

(ps. i just found out the stench of formic acid in ants can make you quite dizzy, esp when you kill 10 over ants at one go :S)

people

2006-01-09T19:47:00.000+08:00

you know, sometimes when you realize some people are actually not what you actually thought they were, it can be quite devastating to deal with that. maybe i just have illusions about people, maybe i thought they were better than they were. or maybe i'm just deceiving myself.

but on the other hand, when such things happen, we find people whom you never paid much attention to who have always been good to you. you find new people to actually believe in, and.. i guess that sort of makes up for the initial shock. but hey, that feeling of.. betrayal is quite.. horrible.

shucks.

2006-01-08T21:16:00.000+08:00

i am STRESSED on the first week of school. i can't believe it. and i though i would take things easy this year.

why?

MATH SIA.

im starting to remember why i hated SIA so much last year and now i'm beginning to hate SIA all over again. why can't i do AMES all over again?!?!! @&)(#*&@_#(&_@!#

birthday wishlist!

2006-01-07T12:17:00.000+08:00

ok in view that my birthday is coming in.. 10 days time, i suddenly felt a need to create wishlisttt XD (at least to satisfy my whims)

wishlist
1. crumpler bag (those kind from 77th street - messenger)
2. new clothes! (anything but tees!)
3. age of mythology pc!!!!
4. hamster??
5. liu yi fei's cd

that's a rather short wishlist.. but thoroughly unattainable :( shucks.

piggg

2006-01-06T18:57:00.000+08:00

gosh i feel like a pig. fishballs, ice cream, potato chip, fries and a burger. (and it was a mcspicy double.. second in calories and fats and goodness knows what else to er.. Big Mac if i'm not wrong ><) no i did not go to a party or something.. just a NORMAL SCHOOL DAY. gosh.

i need liposuction.

2nd day of school

2006-01-04T21:24:00.000+08:00

i didn't know the second day of school could be this tiring. geesh. i'm too tired to post anything else. *yawn*

prom musings..

2006-01-03T19:29:00.000+08:00

qun yuan commented today that yushan already bought her prom dress, so i started envisioning myself in my prom dress (though i haven't actually bought one yet), but all i could come up with was an image of a pig with frills.

sounds like a vaguely accurate description don't you think?

ok anyway at ruth's suggestion, i shall post a comment options for every post from now on :) i didn't know that anyone wanted to comment anything at all :) ruth! go post at that ya tui post k!

ok so first day of school wasn't quite as bad as i thought it would be.. but i still prefer hols anyway.. (like DUH).

2006-01-02T19:12:00.000+08:00

i am not looking forward to school i am not looking forward to school i am not looking forward to school.

gosh all i can think of is school. i am not looking forward to school.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2006-01-01T10:18:00.000+08:00

its 2006! happy new year everyone!

the celebrations for the coming of the new year on tvbs and zhong tian ping dao (taiwanese channels) yesterday rocked :) it was one concert after another, though some of the artists' performance were way too long.. but hey, it still was great!

looking back on 2005.. well it wasn't my best year. but it was a year when i felt truly alive. not that i wasn't before that, but i just got more aware of the things around me, and i saw, or noticed more details of everything around me. and my perspective and direction definitely changed a lot in the past year. i came to the realization of many stuff i haven't been able to grasp previously, and at the same time, come to terms with matters i haven't really been able to accept until then.

quite a lot of things have happened in the past year. things that have impacted me quite a lot, changing the way i think and feel. it definitely wasn't my happiest year, but there were quite a lot of intense emotions packed in the last year, leaving me quite overwhelmed. but its better to feel overwhelmed by your emotions than feel nothing at all eh? like some people say, better to love deeply, be hurt deeply, than to walk through life leaving nothing at all. (love here is a metaphor PLS do not xiang ru fei fei) :)

anyway.. the top ten things that have impacted me most in the past year (not neccessarily in order), or what i can think of at the moment :) :
1. my new found freedom!
2. obtaining the lowest test score yet :S
3. leaving the country alone without the accompaniment of my parents (beijing '05!)
4. primary class gathering! (it was great to see everyone again!)
5. reconciliation with some of my friends with whom i haven't been on good terms previously.
6. new perspective that changed my attitude to lots of things DRASTICALLY.
7. friends?
8. piercing my ears!
9. my new jian! (mine MINE mine and mine alone *growls*)
10. learning to start anew! :)

*phew* i don't think that's really everything that left the deepest impression on me.. but that's all i can think of at the moment -_-.

already think i've written too long. congrats to all who've made it here without falling asleep! :)

oucchh

2005-12-31T13:32:00.000+08:00

i was so inspired after visiting the nywushu blog that i decided to ya tui! and i forgot that i injured my right leg. i think i snapped my tendon or something.

ouch :(

*sorry guys, no tagboard cause i have this er.. aversion to them :) can't really stand the sight of them in my blog

jap decision

2005-12-30T20:20:00.000+08:00

ok so i've decided! i'm going to continue jap UNTIL I TAKE MY O'LEVELS. geesh. i never thought i'd continue for so long, and honestly, i still feel like quitting. i mean, my jap really sucks, and i never really had the passion to master the language to begin with. yeah its quite surprising even to myself that i lasted so long >< (barely though)

yeah like ruth said, i was the one who had always wanted to quit right from the beginning, and now i'm the only one left still studying -_-. i just can' bring myself to quit it ARGH. hao tong ku~~ wish i could just quit it like they did without it weighing on my conscience. BUT I CAN'T. how wonderful. i brought this onto myself and i have no one to blame but meeeee UGHH. gosh someone give me a prep talk. i'm in dire need for one good brushing up.

so its what edith said that changed my mind. she said, "there's only ONE year left. study so hard for so long already, at least get a cert back." yeahh.. i agree. but that doesn't lessen the pain trust me. $*&@)!@ i have jlpt cert! (-_-) right. i don't even know if i can pass jlpt level 3. how to pass the Os??! and my decision was also perhaps influenced when i saw yisheng with so much stuff on hand - ballet, skating, wushu, piano, 2 ccas, tuition (and third lang before as well). she's definitely more er.. adapt at handling her time than me.

ok.. so next year guess i'll have to start mugging my jap. ARGH im not look forward to that.

goal: PASS (at least) my jap o'level.

class gathering :)

2005-12-29T21:54:00.000+08:00

friends we make when we were young stay the truest throughout our lives. i really do believe that.

it was great seeing everyone today during class gathering! how long has it been.. 4 years for some since we last met in primary 6. and no one really changed that much :) it was definitely great to get together again, even though it started off a little quiet at first. but everything started to get on when we got the barbeque going. :)

i didn't really know how much i missed my primary school friends until i saw them. this class gathering was the most "complete" one we had for a long time. honestly i was quite surprised at the number of people who turned up. the last few times were quite.. scarce.

im feeling.. a little melancholy i guess. because i haven't said what i vowed to say before i went to the class gathering. i just could not gather up myself, my courage to say what i meant to say a long time ago, 4 years ago. and i don't think i'll ever get to say it now that i could not find courage to say it even now. and im sorry for that.

i don't know if you'll read this blog, and i don't know even if you know i'm referring to you. but i hope, and i pray, that you'll read this and understand. i'm sorry for what happened in primary 6. i'm sorry for treating you the way i did. i hope ****** has told you what i told her during PE class in p6, and i hope you'll forgive me. i'm sorry, i honestly am. you're truly the best friend i have ever had. you're the only person whom i can really speak to, tell all my secrets to, even my silliest whims and desires. and you're the only person who really saw me for what i am.

i guess sorry is really the hardest word yet. but i'll say so here. i'll say so because if i don't say it now, i'll never say it. im sorry, xinni. i really am.

im PISSED

2005-12-28T22:34:00.000+08:00

i honestly don't care much about doing it well.. i mean. its not as if he'll exactly change his opinion about me even if i put in effort. damn him. god i hate him.

(don't anyone dare tease me about this post cause i'm not talking about whatever you're thinking right now. DON'T step on this topic. i mean it.)

musings.. hols ending.. confused?

2005-12-27T13:49:00.000+08:00

so i guess the year's coming to an end.. 5 more days before the year 2005 ends, and henceforth the start of new school year. so should i be happy? sad? frustrated? angry?

GAH. im confused. by myself.

i love the hols.. i really don't want it to end, but i want school to start too. but i don't want tests (DUH), or SIA or quizzes etc etc. but homework's better than sitting around with nothing to do all day. and movies can get boring after you've watched 5 of them in 2 weeks.

so?

im still confused. someone clear my head for me, please?

:)

2005-12-27T00:07:00.000+08:00

went out with my shuai ge, jieying, liwen, biqi and xiyu today to plaza singapore.. haha and in the 4 and half hours we were out all we did was to eat pizza hut, buy a prezzie and take neoprints! how unproductive (but i like) :)

anyways.. i don't think i'll be able to go for wushu now. now that i just practically pulled my leg apart by ya-ing tui after being totally inert for so long. i pulled my leg muscle.. ahhh and i can't even RUN. so how am i supposed to do wushu? great. and we're supposed to have tests on our flexibility, stamina, strength etc. etc. this weds/thurs. i am so dead.

last week of hols..

2005-12-25T20:37:00.000+08:00

sigh so its the last week of the hols.. why does it seem so short when time seems to crawl during school times? i definitely wouldn't mind if the hols still had 2 more months to go. sighh~

how ironic that the last week of hols would be my busiest week of all.. with cca and outings and class gatherings.. haha don't kill me all those of you guys out there who have been busier than me (undoubtedly a lot of you yeah?)

oh by the way, bon jovi's have a nice day (album i mean) rocks man! i'd recommend to all :)

and i fell in love with S.H.E.'s new song from their latest album - yue gui nu shen (gekked.. can't type chinese in blogspot -_-) anyway.. sounds like a soundtrack that would come out from some movie that would have this dreamy setting and a damn romantic love story. anyways! its a must listen! the music is damn nice :)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

2005-12-25T00:06:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS people!!!

chirstmas dinner!!

2005-12-24T23:18:00.000+08:00

aaahh~~ christmas dinner rocked :) we had turkey, log cake, lots of bread, pizza (!) etc etc.. i definitely overweight now.. ahh TAF club here i come!~~

i LOVE my baby cousin!! she is so absolutely adorable, cute, charming, ambrosial, darling, dear, delectable (!), delicious (!), delightful, fetching, heavenly, lovable cousin! she *ahem* seemed to have developed a liking to me too! she just kept toddling over to me during the dinner.. then i would feed her morsels off my plate :) then when watching tv she'd just clamber onto my knee *squeals* and sit there! and all this time im trying to fend off my er.. other 8-year-old cousin who seems to enjoy throwing dices at me and punching me ><><

oh and my parents made this.. wonderful blunder by mistaking red wine for sparkling juice @@ so we had red wine for dinner instead of sparkling juice.. i think i got a little drunk there.. i finished half a glass (OOI XIAO HONG I REALLY GOT DRUNK THIS TIME.. not last time -_-) then i got all woozy and oozy and started giggling, and *ahem* started singing along with my baby cousin. i think they thought i was a bit.. unstable, so they er.. washed me with water. LOTS of ice cold water (literally - they got ice from the fridge and added it to a glass of water and told me to drink it)

but anyway.. i survived! and so i continued the warring with my cousin.. hai.. i shall remember to wear thicker clothings the next time i see him ><

we had log cake and REAL sparkling juice after dinner.. then i made the mistake of giving it to my baby cousin ><>

so anyway~ christmas dinner rocked :) can't wait to see my baby cousin again.. sigh..

ps. i'd like to apologize to someone whom i haven't been on good terms for the past year.. yeah like you said, we've been to hard on each other and ourselves as well :) just glad everything's ok now! :)

christmas dinner!!

2005-12-23T20:52:00.000+08:00

ahh i can't wait for christmas dinner!! christmas dinner christmas dinner christmas dinner!!

hmmm..

2005-12-23T14:01:00.000+08:00

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.

You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.

You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.

You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

sorry yuya :) i can't help koping that idea of putting this thing on my blog ><.

NARNIA!

2005-12-22T22:48:00.000+08:00

oohh ahh eee NARNIA ROCKS!! i watched it today.. and it was bloody wonderful! :) the conversation, the battle scenes, the effects.. all rocked to the very last bit! :)

the scene i liked most.. i think it would be the one when everyone knelt in front of aslan's tent, and aslan just stepped out. it was.. this feeling of awe. it just feels as if you were in narnia itself, and this respect and wonder you just feel towards aslan. and the scene when aslan roared at the white witch, and she just sat down.. i felt all my hair stand up. aahh~~ aslan!

the battle scenes were definitely not as.. overwhelming as that in lord of the rings, but it was great all the same. the main different was in the numbers - narnia did not have such large armies on either side as compare to the lord of the rings, but the leaders that led them made up for it. peter was.. (how do you put that feeling into words?) he was visibily terrified, or more like still a tinge unsure of himself and what he was about to do, yet he had this brave front on, and this courage and determination to avenge aslan. and damn he looked good with that armour on and that unicorn he was riding. (im not saying he's good looking, he's more cute than good looking. just the general aura around him).

ironically, as much as i detest the white witch for what she did, her cruelty and cunning, there is this.. undeniable attraction towards her. she commands fear, and just.. i guess a certain amount of charisma in a rather different way. there's this certain coldness around her, a ruthlessness that strokes this terror, if not a tinge of awe to her. and like it or not, she looks queenly enough when in her chariot pulled along by the polar bears.

peter - brave in his deeds, and his sense of responsibility towards his family, his fierce determination to protect them from harm is quite touching to begin with. and his demeanor, the natural sense of leadership that radiates from him especially when leading the army, even when his fear showed through the brave front he tried to put on, very impressive. :)

edmund - foolish, rather frustrating at times to see him sink deeper and deeper into the white witch's claws with each wrong move he made, but he did try to prove himself in the end. though his redemption did not actually manage to undo all the damage he did before, but i guess he did manage to prove himself again. and seeing that there was no real harm done.. well i guess he's ok after all :)

lucy - the one whom no one believed. she's rather appealing in a way children appeal to adults i guess, but she's not really to my taste. i can't really put my finger onto it.. just a general feeling.

susan! - i like her.. though she really didn't do much throughout the movie. she did the least i think, just killed the dwarf who tried to kill edmund. but other than that.. her aim was even worse than lucy's when they were practising with the target. but she just.. seems so right for the crown, so queenly and so elegant. she definitely looked the best in the crowning ceremony. :)

but aslan beats all :) i love his roar, like the one when he intimidated the white witch into buckling down into her chair in his camp. aslan is wise beyond all, brave above anyone, and yet gentler than everyone combined. aslan rocks :)

damn narnia is good. go watch it all of you who haven't. :)

the promise

2005-12-21T19:24:00.000+08:00

narnia narnia narnia narnia narnia narnia narnia narnia narnia narnia narnia narnia narnia narnia arrghh i can't wait for marina tomorrow :)

i watched the promise yesterday.. was a load of crap. but a nice load of crap :) the storyline was horrendous.. i had no idea what story it was trying to tell, what were the significance of the characters in the story save for a few. and throughout most of the story the plot was totally absurd.. like qingcheng flying like a kite by the string tied to her waist and being pulled along by kun lun when escaping from the palace.. or the general running out a path of fire when rushing through the barbarian's army.. -_-. quite.. well.. let's just say it made me cringe a little at the.. er.. wild imagination of chen kaige. a bit overdoing it.

but the effects were great! the whole settings, effects etc were damn beautiful.. breathtaking actually especially when seen on the big screen. and the colours and just.. general setting! arrr i don't know how to say actually.. just the general feeling you get. its pretty pleasing.

i'd say the story was horrible, but even it was quite a.. erms.. enlightening(?!) movie. i think my mum hated it.. i have a vague feeling she fell asleep during one part of the movie, then was awoken by the man beside her when he sneezed -_-. and she was er.. ranting about the absurdity of the movie when we came out. well i can't blame her really :) she definitely wouldn't have watched it if i hadn't drag her along ><. luckily she didn't watch the House of Flying Daggers.

well just hope narnia will be more to her taste.. at least she wanted to watch this one :) and i know that it'll be nice.. no great.. aaahhh~~ can't wait.. narnia narnia narnia :)

(no, honestly, the promise isn't that bad. its quite nice if you look at it at another angle. just keep an open mind.)

physics completed!

2005-12-19T18:11:00.000+08:00

aahh!! i finished my physics homework!!! *screams* i can't believe it.. 130 pages of pure torture.. finished finished finished finished lalala~~~

BUT. chem, lang arts, math UNDONE. *cries* horrible homework.. but at least physics is done! :)

ok so its king kong / the promise tomorrow and chronicles of narnia on thurs! and hopefully we can go catch another one i'll miss tomorrow on sat before christmas dinner.. yumm.. :) hopefully! (a girl can dream can't she?)

i can't wait for christmas dinner this sat! im finally going to see my baby cousin.. missed her so much. hope she'd have forgotten my necklace i wore to the CNY gathering by then, or that necklace will be a goner by the end of the whole dinner -_- and that's my favourite necklace too -_-. and the other cousin who keeps pestering me to teach him wushu while treating me as his sandbag all the time.. he had better be less violent this time. (ouch.) that bruise from a kick to my shin took a LONG time to fade.. aarrrgghh it'll be like warzone again this sat.

but i like! :) can't wait for christmas dinner!!!!

soccer!

2005-12-19T13:42:00.000+08:00

mmm.. eating ruffles cheddar and sour cream now.. nice... mmmmm...

oh yah.. recalling just now.. "does a soccer match last for 3, 4 hours?" "PWOOCHHKK!!" (that was me spitting out my tea). ahahah can u believe that?! my mum asked if a soccer match lasted for 3, 4 hours! we were eating lunch and watching a soccer match, during which my mum just sprouted that question after the timer ticked 13.28 on the screen. yeahh my dad turned a shade of purplish red too :)

ahh for a mum of a soccer fan who has 2 arsenal t-shirts, its quite amazing what she can come out with. i'll just her not to say anything regarding soccer during mealtimes, or ill jeopardize everyone's lunch again.

my mum is so cute.. that little lady.. sigh i still can't stop laughing..

chicken little

2005-12-18T20:30:00.000+08:00

argh im having this horrible pounding headache now. pound pound pound.. arrrgghh.

just came back from movie and shopping at jurong point.. wanted to watch king kong, but all were sold out -_- and the promise was at a horrendous time, so we had to watch chicken little instead. the characters were quite cute, but the storyline.. well let's just say that it was a little too childish for my taste.. but i just love that little orange alien! *screams*

im going watch the promise this tues, then chronicles of narnia this thurs.. ahh movie marathon~~
i can't do this anymore.. pound pound pound.. ahh someone chop off my head..

2005-12-17T15:13:00.000+08:00

gah i don't know what to say really.. i know i've been blogging all about the nywushu camp since the beginning of this blog (and i just realized my entries were a bit too long.. -_-), but i just can't get over it! i like this nywushu camp a lot to be honest, more than i ever thought i would. :) but i suppose that's good :)

i just read someone's blog.. and i feel.. a little sad really. well that, and the what i have came to realize in the past few days is sort of making me reflect.. i just don't know how to express my feelings well enough so that people can understand what im really trying to say.

perhaps it isn't about not being that important to someone anymore. its about that person not knowing how to say so, to say that you never diminished in importance. perhaps its just a fear of being rebuffed on that person's part, or just being unable to get the words out of your mouth. im sorry that she should think that way, because she might never know how important she was, and still is, to me. just that i can't very well say that.

well on the lighter note, maybe im just being paranoid :) maybe.. i don't know really. at least i hope she can understand what im trying to say. cause now that im reading back what i wrote i can't really understand what im trying to say myself -_-.

last day of wushu camp'05

2005-12-16T22:26:00.000+08:00

today was the last day of wushu camp'05. i enjoyed it A LOT! we rocked! though we ended up all dead in the end, i definitely wouldn't mind going through it all over again! :)

we had jiaoliu today, with republic poly, jtcc, ngee ann secondary school and NUS wushu team.. we were supposed to give a performance to do with wushu in our teams. it was rather.. cold in the beginning, but it turned out ok i guess. other groups were definitely better than us, and it was hilarious! then after everybody left, we had jiantao. it was about an hour and a half.... *groans* but meaningful though :) we had farewell for weiqi at the same time, as well as for cheryl and celine.

during jiantao today, everyone had to say their feelings and thoughts about this camp, and it came as a rather big surprise that everyone actually knew about "our" misunderstanding. actually it was a shock really. even zhou lao shi knew. and all the seniors. but at least its ok now :)

it was a fun camp, and the change that this camp brought about was.. well.. immeasurable in its importance. im still reeling over with the drastic change these few days, and well.. what can i say? im happy. really happy :)

*oh and by the way.. i just realized that blogspot couldn't publish chinese words. GAH why couldn't be there a combination with diary-x and blogspot?! looks like ill have to continue with my diary-x blog. AHH i won;t have time!!! *sobz*

new blog!

2005-12-16T21:53:00.000+08:00

a new blog! why? its somewhat like a new beginning for me.. cliche i know, but its true :) so many things have happened in these few days, so many things that changed everything in the past year drastically, though not all the things i wished would change did, but well.. its a pretty big change :)

ok first off. cca! im actually starting to enjoy it a lot now, well mainly because we made up! i don't want to admit it, but well our little rift has made life rather difficult for me to enjoy cca for the past.. one and a half years? that peroid was bad.. very bad. but its totally ok now and as much as i say otherwise, i AM relieved its all over. so im enjoying myself now, and am totally comfortable with the people there right now, actually more comfortable than i have been around anyone outside home for the past one year. its quite surprising really, that i should enjoy myself with these teammates so much when i was just so uncomfortable in cca a few weeks ago. its quite amazing how some things change so drastically because of one simple thing i had no idea was so of so much importance to me. but well.. enerything's for the better definitely!

wushu camp rocked! today was the second day... though i can hardly stand or walk properly after yesterday's training. it seems as if no one who attended yesterday's training (or should i say torture) could stand properly. luckily we didn't really train much today, or ill just die on the spot. our team building games became water war today.. mainly aimed at hou! but i got splashed pretty bad.. by courtesy of deb, clarisse and hui fang -_-. but it was fun! though i was soaked.. but not as soaked as hui fang :) she was totallly swimming XD

i just finished a minutes of the meeting we had today IN CHINESE for hou -_- i don't mind writing in chinese (i like it actually), but definitely not minutes. those "techinical terms" are simply horrible. and im STILL cramping all over :( there's still tomorrow - one more day - of wushu camp, and according to the agenda its supposed to have some very rigorous training. ahh i am going to die tomorrow. let's see if i have enough energy left at the end of the day to walk up the stairs of my house to my room :) or else i have to sleep in the living room :)

let me run

going away for a while.

online term progress report and MY REVISION

online term progress report and MY REVISION

online term progress report and MY REVISION

online term progress report and MY REVISION

online term progress report and MY REVISION

online term progress report and MY REVISION

online term progress report and MY REVISION

online term progress report and MY REVISION

online term progress report and MY REVISION

online term progress report and MY REVISION

*bluees*

kbox!

everything's ok now (:

handover this thurs

my swansong

><

france vs brazil

jap o'levels

pains and aches and sores from wushu camp

world cup fever-initiated exhaustion

kunming - there and back

sabbatical week

carelessness

Slow Dance

eye infection

end of interschool wushu competition 2006

nywushu jiayou!!

fever.. again.

record no mo bruises.. and dae jung geum!!

fearless, and i cried =|

mood swings

fever!

school's starting

mosquitoes arghh

wushu wushu wushu i'm irritated by x**

lifeskills camp '06

bloody day

my wrist hurtssss

when your best is not enough

new blog layout!

updates

haven't memorized my total defence day poem!

depressed but dunno why?

Valentine's Day

Ruth got A1 for her chinese o'levels!

glum day

im losing my mindddddddd lalalala

happy cny! :)

Memiors of a Geisha

that )@#(&@(*#! sec one girl on the bus today

ear infection

sore throat.. argh

dance night!! and a very bad sore throat

chan is getting irrational

my birthday!

A Kung Fu Tale - the Legend of Wong Fei Hung

cramps and wushu DON'T come together

sixteen!

coldd

the rain is making me think.

ANTS!

people

birthday wishlist!

piggg

2nd day of school

prom musings..

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

oucchh

jap decision

class gathering :)

im PISSED

musings.. hols ending.. confused?

:)

last week of hols..

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

chirstmas dinner!!

christmas dinner!!

hmmm..

bluees